20 Things Your Most Annoying Friends Do on Facebook
We love your babies, really we do. We do not, however, relish vivid descriptions of their every wee wee and poopee. And we especially don't look forward to 46 similar posts every single day.
Congratulations, you have a job! So does the majority of the rest of the 900 million people on Facebook.
We simply ask one favor: If you wish to market, create a marketing page. If you wish to lose all your friends, keep spamming them with P90X ads.
Urban Dictionary defines "vaguebooking" as the following: "An intentionally vague Facebook status update that prompts friends to ask what's going on, or is possibly a cry for help."
See also:
- "Wondering if it's all worth it..."
- "Yep, that just happened."
- "Karma is a bitch."
I really don't think anyone cares about our third trip to Dunkin' Donuts this week. For that matter, I'd prefer if my boss didn't learn about our weeknight rendezvous at **FREE-Tuesday-Night-Jager-Shots-With-Purchase-of-PBR-Tall-Can Tavern.**
"Sometimes I wish I wasn't 5'10" and stunningly gorgeous because then I could just walk in peace."
MySpace may have popularized the "selfie," but we're pretty sure Facebook is keeping it alive and well.
We're not total squares. We appreciate a good tune now and again. But somehow, reading your ass-random song lyrics out of context doesn't toot our trumpet, if you know what I mean.
Does [insert politician here] reward you for being his top ultra liberal/conservative social media mouthpiece? He should.
HT @mention, @mention FWIW, Twitter is not the same as FB. #kthanksbye.
There's a reason people on Facebook discontinued the third person status update. Because it got old. Ergo, stop doing it.
I am not in that sunset picture, but you seem to want me to be. Or you just want me to hate you.
Variation: Any post that ends with "Amirite? [Tagged name] [Tagged name] [Tagged name] [Tagged name] [Tagged name] [Tagged name] [Tagged name] [Tagged name] [Tagged name] [Tagged name]."
It's so refreshing to know that people subscribe to you for your intelligence and wit. Oh right, that and marriage proposals.
A) Full-blown conversations on Facebook between a couple that sees each other every day and may even be sitting next to each other on the couch, for all we know.
B) Posting publicly about private or sensitive matters pertaining to family, friends, legal matters, religious beliefs, health, violence or even feminine hygiene products (yes, we've seen it).
KITY (Keep It to Yourself).
When did it become trendy to go by your middle name instead of your last name? Some of us missed the memo.
Creating a month-long event? Cool. Now I have 30 days to plot my revenge.
There's no reason you and your partner should maintain separate profiles — you breathe the same air, keep the same secrets and mourn the same crippled identity, right?
"Repost this Facebook status to protect your privacy!" Sound familiar?
Fake rumors like these often start as political, marketing or social campaigns, and are designed to spread awareness through fear. But really, it's the people who blindly perpetuate these rumors who should be afraid — very afraid.
The hand-on-hip trick creates a slimming effect, also known as the "skinny arm." It's especially effective when paired with a bent knee and photographed from the side.
Only problem is it's no longer a secret of the sorority pros. Now everyone knows you're just trying to look skinny.
Image courtesy of Flickr, Greek@Duke
It's really important that every single one of your 400 Facebook friends knows that you're training for a 5K, that you stubbed your big toe during a recent jog, and that your runner's diet of chia seeds is doing wonders for your digestion.
Pet peeve: people who don't remove the URL once they've copy/pasted it into a status update. Result: ilooklikebarackobama.com on top of ilooklikebarackobama.com. Hurts my eyes.
Either we’re getting old and grouchy or Facebook is becoming a lot less tolerable these days. Once we filter through pictures of baby’s first potty training and epic love poems of the newly engaged, we’re left with political diatribes and spam — and yes, all of it from our “friends.”
In a long-winded, therapeutic email thread, Mashable staffers vented about our biggest Facebook pet peeves. Once I removed the NSFW language and CAPS LOCK cyber-rants, I narrowed down the list to the 20 most annoying behaviors on Facebook.
Perhaps your friends are guilty of one or — God forbid — all of these Facebook mortal sins. Maybe even you have erred from time to time (we forgive you, but please stop). Either way, now’s your chance to contribute your own nominations for world’s worst Facebook manners. Vent away in the comments below.
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